Yeah..not so much. I started a new job in February. This job is my foot in the door to librarianship. That is what I am going to school for. But in order to get a librarian position you need library experience. So, I am in an entry level job at 31. Pretty sad when I put it that way. I have to constantly remind myself that this is only temporary and I will move up the chain as I gain more experience and start stacking my degrees.
Shortly after I started working at the library another job position opened up. Slightly higher pay and not so entry level. The position was for a spot in the cataloging department, a place where I log to be. Away from the public and working at a desk decoding the books the logical fashion. The only thing the job posting required, that I didn’t have, was “cataloging experience a plus.” I take that as “helpful but not required.” I didn’t think I was experienced enough to submit my in-house application and hopefully make a lateral move within the library.
After months of debating and arguing with myself and hearing from my husband, “you’re good enough. And you’re a fast learner. you’ll pick up on the cataloging.” I finally decided he was right. The next day I went to work and printed out an application, filled it out, and signed it. I had it ready to go and was going to deliver it to my branch manager on my lunch. I was really going to do this!
The ink of my signature wasn’t even dry before we got an email from our director stating they had filled the position. With someone from our other branch. I missed my opportunity. I waited too long. I doubted myself when I should not have. I didn’t think myself qualified enough for a position I would have loved, all because a sentence. “Cataloging experience a plus.”
It turns out my work already had the position filled. Before they posted the job online. I heard it from two different people on two different occasions. And nobody knew I wanted to apply for the job. I kept that information close to my chest because I was afraid someone would rip it from me, or laugh at me, for attempting it. Had I gone through with my application, it would have been turned down. They already had the spot filled.
Lesson learned. I should not second guess myself. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know where I can thrive and where I start to falter. I should not let a few words dictate where I want to work. What is the point of me going to get my degrees if I am going to let a few words stand in my way? That isn’t how I am going to get where I want to be career wise. I need to do better for myself and I need to believe in myself and what I am capable of accomplishing.
And, perhaps, a lesson for you. Do not hesitate to do something you want to do. Do not second guess yourself. If you fail, well then, you fail. You won’t be able to say to you didn’t try. So, do what you want to do, otherwise, you might miss out on opportunity. As my husband would say, “you do you.”